Snoopy
An open letter to someone who stayed for a while. Did I get to love you?
"Sana di ka nalang ulit nagparamdam. Sana di ka nalang ulit bumalik kung di ka naman mananatili edi sana di nagulo yung isip ko. Lasing nako pero bakit a part of me reminds me of you. I hate you so much that I still care for you. " I couldn't press the send button even though I am so angry to you then I find myself looking at your picture, scrolling your old messages, typing your name on my search options, checking if your're online or how many hours passed when you're active, thinking how are you doing? How is snoop?(the name of the dog). Is he sad also? Did he looked at you again with those pure cute black eyes and wag his tail to tell you that he wanted to stroll outside the house not like you that all you wanted to do is just stay inside the house and sleep all day. Did you ate because I know you love food like me. You like eating whenever you feel hungry even after 11pm. Are you ok? So many thoughts. I started typing but I remember my last message to you that I will not disturb you anymore yet here I am disturb by my emotions to you. I don't know why your effect to me would become such a big as a broken heart. We were not even dating, yes we spoke sweet thoughts to each other and I thought I was in control not knowing you are already the one controlling. You left without even saying hello, you left me hanging and I just let myself hang. I know you even before but hindi ko akalain na ganito yung magiging epekto mo sakin. I wanted to help you heal, to go on with life, to let you see that you can still go on for a beautiful life even if you have the worst past life. I know it's not easy but I thought with my presence atleast you will know that it will be better. But it was all the "akala thing lang pala" it hurts me to see you in pain, to see you alone and depress, wasting your life in that four corner of your room trying to create a world with only your soul and body. I am here, I'm just waiting. I guess yea, I like you already. I felt that you like me but you just got coward because of the judgemental world we have and for that I truly understand you. Baka nga yung naudlot na "tayo" noong 14yrs ago ay hanggang dito nalang. Thank you for letting me feel important and special again, for making me smile, for putting a smile on my heart. I love you? I don't even know if I reached that level already? But why I felt like crying and surpressing my emotions?
"Sana di ka nalang ulit nagparamdam. Sana di ka nalang ulit bumalik kung di ka naman mananatili edi sana di nagulo yung isip ko. Lasing nako pero bakit a part of me reminds me of you. I hate you so much that I still care for you. " I couldn't press the send button even though I am so angry to you then I find myself looking at your picture, scrolling your old messages, typing your name on my search options, checking if your're online or how many hours passed when you're active, thinking how are you doing? How is snoop?(the name of the dog). Is he sad also? Did he looked at you again with those pure cute black eyes and wag his tail to tell you that he wanted to stroll outside the house not like you that all you wanted to do is just stay inside the house and sleep all day. Did you ate because I know you love food like me. You like eating whenever you feel hungry even after 11pm. Are you ok? So many thoughts. I started typing but I remember my last message to you that I will not disturb you anymore yet here I am disturb by my emotions to you. I don't know why your effect to me would become such a big as a broken heart. We were not even dating, yes we spoke sweet thoughts to each other and I thought I was in control not knowing you are already the one controlling. You left without even saying hello, you left me hanging and I just let myself hang. I know you even before but hindi ko akalain na ganito yung magiging epekto mo sakin. I wanted to help you heal, to go on with life, to let you see that you can still go on for a beautiful life even if you have the worst past life. I know it's not easy but I thought with my presence atleast you will know that it will be better. But it was all the "akala thing lang pala" it hurts me to see you in pain, to see you alone and depress, wasting your life in that four corner of your room trying to create a world with only your soul and body. I am here, I'm just waiting. I guess yea, I like you already. I felt that you like me but you just got coward because of the judgemental world we have and for that I truly understand you. Baka nga yung naudlot na "tayo" noong 14yrs ago ay hanggang dito nalang. Thank you for letting me feel important and special again, for making me smile, for putting a smile on my heart. I love you? I don't even know if I reached that level already? But why I felt like crying and surpressing my emotions?
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