Payong Girl( Umbrella Girl)

An open letter to someone who stayed for a while. Did I get to love you? "Sana di ka nalang ulit nagparamdam. Sana di ka nalang ulit bumalik kung di ka naman mananatili edi sana di nagulo yung isip ko. Lasing nako pero bakit a part of me reminds me of you. I hate you so much that I still care for you. " I couldn't press the send button even though I am so angry to you then I find myself looking at your picture, scrolling your old messages, typing your name on my search options, checking if your're online or how many hours passed when you're active, thinking how are you doing? How is snoop?(the name of the dog). Is he sad also? Did he looked at you again with those pure cute black eyes and wag his tail to tell you that he wanted to stroll outside the house not like you that all you wanted to do is just stay inside the house and sleep all day. Did you ate because I know you love food like me. You like eating whenever you feel hungry even after 11pm. Are you ok? So...

Maybe you’re not where you want to be at your age because God is teaching you that you can’t keep living your life according to what society is expecting, or what  you  are expecting. Maybe the lesson is to let go all of the expectations, let go of all the timelines and let go of the notion that at a certain age, you have to be more accomplished than others or you need to have it all together. Maybe you’re still single because God is trying to teach you another kind of love, the kind of love that you give to your friends, your family, your job and yourself. Maybe he wants you to learn how to live without the constant reassurance and validation you need from a partner and maybe God knows that your journey is full of traveling, self-exploration and movement that getting tied to a partner is not going to be the right fit for you. Maybe he’s teaching you how to walk before you run. Maybe he’s teaching you the same lessons over and over again because he wants you to learn ...